companionable as solitude

One of the items on my 30 by 30 list is to take myself on a date. When I was coming up with the list, that particular idea just sounded like it might be a good thing to do.

I’m realizing lately that it might really be something I need to do.

Maybe I’ve always been this way and haven’t noticed, or maybe it’s just happening as I get older, but I don’t like doing things alone. Generally I enjoy solitude- I go shopping by myself all the time, or I’ll grab a quick meal alone (longer meals are another story), or pretty much anything that doesn’t involve human interaction. But I don’t do events solo.

  • In 2009 I saw Sufjan Stevens play at the 400 Bar. I only went alone because tickets sold out so fast and no one else I know who wanted to go managed to get any. Clearly I should have bought two.
  • A couple months ago I had dinner by myself because I had an hour to kill. I sat at the bar, had a cheeseburger, and got a little drunk. It was slightly awkward but undeniably delicious.
  • I have seen exactly two movies by myself: Superbad and Sweeney Todd. Movies are easy.

And… that’s it. Four instances in my adult life where I went and just hung out with myself.

I could also get into a whole mess about how uneasy I feel in groups and how I tend to use my husband as some sort of shield from human interaction, but that… that is another post altogether. I mean, as long as I either know everyone or don’t have to talk to anyone I’m fine. Uhhh… maybe I need to see someone about this problem.

So anyway, I’d like to feel more comfortable with the idea of being alone someplace other than at home. Alone, and not trying to shut out the world with sunglasses and headphones (which doesn’t work, by the way).  Solution: take myself on a date. More than once, in theory, but ya gotta start somewhere. I was going to go to dinner and then see Flashdance the Musical last night but responsibilities got in the way, so I ended up just writing about it instead. Sometime in the next few weeks or months I’ll plot something brilliant and report back.

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7 thoughts on “companionable as solitude

  1. Marsha

    Take one massive one for me !!! Parenthood denies that privilege but once in a blue moon but it is soooo worth it. Miss you to pieces.

    Reply
    1. Katrina Post author

      I’m glad! It’s certainly not a unique concept, but it’s still nice to hear when other people are dealing with the same sort of things.

      Also, hello. 🙂

      Reply
  2. Pingback: Trying to reach infinity | fearlessly, myself.

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