2014, as she happened.

Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I made two resolutions: 1) eat more cheese. 2) eat more burritos. Yes I did keep them, thank you very much. I might even make the same resolutions for 2015.

Did anyone close to you give birth?

Someone people I’m FB friends with, but not real-life friends. SOON THOUGH. Soooooooon.

Did anyone close to you die?

Not as of today, and it better stay that way.

What countries did you visit?

Alas, I only got as far as Wisconsin.

What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?

Okay, I always say more money, but that will be true until I win the lottery (which will be never because I don’t play the lottery). More travel, too.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Another year has passed without a fetus. Win.
OH AND I learned to do a headstand.

What was your biggest failure?

I didn’t get around to paying off my Macy’s card. So close! Fuck you, Macy’s.

What was the best thing you bought?


Whose behavior merited celebration?

I’m drawing a blank here.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Uh, basically all the police at this point, and the whole justice system.

Where did most of your money go?

The shaggin’ wagon, which I love, but goddamn if we haven’t spent a lot of money on it.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?


What song will always remind you of 2014?

I don’t think there is one. I feel like there’s rarely a song that will always make me think of a specific year. One exception is Grand Theft Autumn, which takes me right back to 2004.
Although, “I Don’t Give A Shit About Anything” by The Drug Budget might get the job done.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or Sadder?


Thinner or fatter?

I think thinner? Maybe I’m the same, but with more abs.* Not fatter though, so that’s nice.
*My abs are only visible when I flex, and even then it’s only the top two. Don’t be too impressed.

Richer or poorer?

I got a raise a few months ago, so richer by default.

What do you wish you’d done more of?


What do you wish you’d done less of?

Drinking, although I’ve improved.

How will you be spending Christmas?

Christmas Eve with my family as always. Although we still don’t know whether or not Darren will be able to come. Stupid work.

Did you fall in love in 2014?

Only with things. Obviously I still love Darren and my friends and my pets, but I already fell in love with all of them.

How many one-night stands?

The likelihood of me having a one night stand is extremely slim.

What was your favorite TV program?

Hmm…  I’d have to say The Mindy Project.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?


What was the best book you read?

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling.

What was your greatest musical discovery?

The Drug Budget has been around for a lot longer, but I first heard them play on NYE. Quite good. Quite.

What did you want and get?

A new car!

What did you want and not get?

A bigger apartment.

What were your favorite films of this year?

New films? Guardians of the Galaxy was the only movie I’ve in the theatre this year. I guess I still have two weeks to change that…

What did you do on your birthday?

We went to dinner at Flame (RIP) and I had a really amazing burger, but I also paid for a single trip through the salad bar just so I could get a shitload of those cheesy hashbrowns. I will miss you, cheesy hashbrowns. Then we went to the bar, which was not planned as a birthday thing but y’know. Wingin’ it.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?

If I could live in leggings and tunics (or long, flowy cardigans) I’d be a happy camper.

What kept you sane?

Yoga and Netflix. Not at the same time.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Taran Killam. Or maybe Chris Pratt.

What political issue stirred you the most?

Bitches trying get all up in my uterus.

Who did you miss?

My mom.

Who was the best new person you met?

Probably Mat. Yay Mat!

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014:

Something boring about making sure your income tax withholding is correct. No shit.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Life is a playground, but it takes a lot of work.


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